Dear Erin, 

I struggle to open up and be social in unfamiliar situations or around people I don’t know very well. Do you have any tips that could help me improve my social skills? 

Dear Struggling Student, 

Being put in environments you are not particularly comfortable in can be stressful and quite scary. One of the easiest ways to make yourself feel more comfortable and confident in these situations is to just be yourself. It is crucial to remember that you do not have to act like someone you are not to fit in with a crowd. I know that sounds very cliche, but I promise that opening up and allowing yourself to be the truest version of yourself allows you to feel more comfortable. People tend to gravitate towards others who are authentic and are not afraid to hide who they are. No matter how uncomfortable that may be, stay true to yourself and confidence will come gradually. 

Another way to overcome social shyness is to start small and work your way up. What I mean by this is that knowing your limits when it comes to starting conversations is good. Knowing where you are comfortable will allow you to start at that comfort level and work your way up as conversations continue to progress. Challenging yourself to keep progressing in conversations will allow you to have more confidence starting in the next situation. 

The last piece of advice I have for you is to prepare ahead of time. To overcome social fears, it can help to plan how you will approach the situation. It can help you feel more secure knowing what to expect. Even if it is not exactly what will play out, getting an idea in your head of what will happen can help you feel not only comfortable but confident as well. 

So just to recap, not being confident in your social skills in specific situations is a normal thing that most people go through. The best ways to enhance your skills would be to stay true to yourself, start small, and prepare yourself for what’s to come. The next time you are in a situation where you feel you may need to be confident, think of these few tips and try them out for yourself!  

Sincerely, Erin